Bad Romance
by bagua
Summary: switch partners?... with them? why would we do that?... where did you get those...  and yes. i did go for the lady gaga reference!
1. setup main plot

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

Clyde, Cartman, and Token all sat down at the remaining slots at the table. All three were smirking trying to stay serious. Token was the most composed of them all. They started eating their food like it was their usual table. The other four boys at the table, Pip, Damien, Craig, and Tweek just stared at the three boys.

"…What are you doing at the fag table?" Craig finally asked.

That table was officially called the fag table right after Tweek and Craig started sitting there. Damien and Pip came out when they were 10. They started out sitting with their friends but they were tired of people acting awkward around them (those feelings were mostly Damien's). They started sitting at a table by themselves. A little more than a year later, when Craig and Tweek were 11, they came out. They were experiencing the same problems as Pip and Damien so they started sitting at their table. The two didn't object having the second couple sit there. But once people saw the two couples eating together, everyone started calling their table the fag table.

Now that the four boys are 16, they weren't fazed by the term 'fag table'. The fag table became so much a concrete name; the four boys that inhabited the table used the name.

"Can't we come over and sit with our friends?" Cartman asked.

Craig flipped Cartman off. The usual angle Craig took to everything.

"Are you gonna finish that?" Clyde asked pointing to Tweek's lunch tray.

"Gah!" Tweek shouted sliding his tray in front of Clyde.

Craig slid his tray in between himself and Tweek so they could share his lunch.

"We have a proposition for you." Token said taking in a spoonful of peas.

The four were paying attention save Damien. Damien focused on eating as did Clyde.

Pip asked "Oh. And what proposition dear say did you have in mind?"

"…well you see…" Token started.

"We want you to switch partners." Cartman said bluntly.

"Gah! Partners?" Tweek said as he twitched.

"You know." Clyde swallowed his food and continued." Your fuck buddies."

"And why may I ask would we do that?" Pip asked.

"Gah! I would have to love Damien!" Tweek asked.

Damien looked up shocked. Token laughed.

"Ha ha ha, that's later." Cartman answered.

The four, save Craig, looked confused. Craig looked expressionless.

"Yeah," Token said suddenly serious. "Tweek would be seen with Pip. Craig would be seen with Damien. At all times. Neither Craig or Damien would be allowed to talk to Pip or Tweek and vice versa ."

"But I live with Pip right now." Damien commented.

"Yeah, Craig lives, Gah, lives with me!" Tweek added.

"I guess two of you are packing your bags huh?" Clyde said still munching on Tweek's lunch.

"None of us take part in this 'proposition'" Craig said while forcing Tweek to eat his food.

Nothing was said but Cartman slid something into the middle of the table.

"…Those aren't?" Damien and Pip said at practically the same time. The two voices together made a weird combination.

Tweek stared at them in amazement still twitching. "These are sold out."

Craig had a hint of emotion on his face. "McDriedal concert tickets?"

"Oh. But there seems to be only two tickets here." Pip stated.

"Smart deduction Pip." Cartman said with a hint of sarcasm as he help two more tickets in his left hand and four back stage passes in his right.

"How long does this go on?" Damien asked. He had flames in his eyes as he stared at the McDreidal tickets.

"Only two weeks. After then, you get the tickets. It's that simple." Cartman added, "But if you break any rules of the bet, no McDreidal for you."

"Rules?" Craig asked.

"You know, the conditions I said earlier," said Token.

Cartman added "And remember, you're switching _partners_. So you have to be like partners. You know. Kiss and hold hands and all that shit. If you don't make us believe that you love each other, no tickets." Cartman took the two McDreidal tickets from the center of the table.

"The way this house thing is working" Damien started thing about it for quite a while "Tweek and Pip would live at Tweeks house and me and Craig would live at Pip's house. "

"You could always live in hell. I'm sure Craig would feel right at home." Clyde suggested.

Craig gave him the death glare.

"My parents wouldn't mind. I say do it!" Pip smiled eagerly. "What do you say Damien? For the tickets."

Damien didn't wanna disappoint Pip. "Fine. We'll do it."

"Great." Cartman said grinning. "Now we just need to get Tweek and Craig to do it."

"We're doing it." Craig answered instantly. Craig loved McDreidal the most out of the four of them.

"Good." Token and Cartman said together with Clyde saying the same thing directly after.

"'Kay. you guys will move out tonight and switch. Tomorrow, you guys will go to the movies. The next day, we'll give you your next assignments at lunch. Those are your assignments for the next two days," said Cartman.

"Assignments?" Craig asked squeezing Tweek's hand.

"Don't follow through on assignments, no tickets." Clyde clarified.

Token spoke up "But don't think assignments are the only things you have to do. You're in love with each other at all times. All three of us will be watching."

"Lunch is… almost over!" Tweek announced.

"So we got a deal." Cartman said shaking the hands of his four constants.

The lunch bell rang. The seven boys started walking to Mr. Ketchum's class. Craig grabbed Tweek's hand and Damien held Pips. Clyde pulled Craig away from Tweek. Token pulled Pip away from Damien. Clyde pulled Craig next to Damien and Token pushed Pip next to Tweek. Pip and Tweek stared at each other with unknowing eyes. Damien and Craig glared at each other both with fire in their eyes. Clyde, Cartman, and Token were smiling at each other in the back ground, all proud of one another.

+t+

"It's so lame dude." Kyle said glumly waking to Mr. Ketchem's class. "The McDreidal concert is sold out! I was so excited when I learned they were coming to Denver!"

"You should talk to Token dude." Stan, Kyle's best friend, said. "His dad bought him like 6 tickets."

"Token doesn't even like McDreidal."

"I know right. It's weird."


	2. setup secondary characters

Disclaimer: i do not own south park... or Weird Al.

"What do you mean you already gave them away!" Kyle asked Token after school let out.

"I gave four to everyone at the fag table." Token replied.

"That still leaves two tickets."

"I gave them to Cartman."

"Cartman? The band is Jewish."

"Well if you wanna see that concert you better talk to Cartman."

"Why fat ass?" Kyle mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"Any way, why did you give them to the fag table?"

"Hi, Kyle! Hi Token." Tweek said as he and Craig walked past them. They held hands.

Token stared at their hands as they walked away. "Hey." Token yelled. The two stopped. Only Tweek looked back. "You better be at Pip's house by 9 O'clock. Cartman and I will be checking then."

"Gah!" Tweek yelled as he turned around. The two headed for Tweek's house.

"What was?" Kyle started.

"So, yeah. You're gonna have to talk to Cartman about the tickets." Token stopped Kyle.

+t+

"Pip! Damien!" Clyde yelled running towards the two after school let out.

"Oh. Hello Clyde." Pip said in his normally chipper mood, "What may we do for you this fine evening?"

"I need to tell you to make sure you are moved in with Tweek by 9 O'clock, that's when I'm coming over to check."

"Right O, old chap."

The couple walked away. Damien's eyes fired up and mysteriously, Clyde's shoes caught on fire.  
Pip gave Damien a stern look. Damien wondered what that look could have been for.

+t+

"Kenny. What the hell are you doing?" Stan asked as he watched Kenny strum his ukulele.

"I'm getting money dude." Kenny said in his normal muffled voice. He still refused to go out in public without his hood on. According to his brother, Kenny has 'delicate ears that will get irritated if they get to cold.'

"Why do you need money?" Stan asked.

"Because its money, dude."

"Oh yeah."

Kenny started singing . "Well you're done, me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my best. And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some But I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm yours."

"What kind of song is that?" Stan questioned.

"Its I'm yours by Jason Mraz."

Stan stared at Kenny as Kenny thanked people for putting money into his ukulele case.

" Well open up your mind and see like me Open up your plans and damn you're free Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love. Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing  
We're just one big family And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved. So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm sure There's no need to complicate, our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours"

"Why that song?" asked Stan.

"Cause it's the ukulele"

"Why the ukulele?"

"People give more money to people who play the ukulele… and it was the only instrument I could get my hands on."

"Is it hard to play?"

"No, dude. Come here I'll show you. Get in front of me." Stan stood in front of Kenny. Kenny had his arms around Stan holding the ukulele in front of Stan. Kenny took Stan's left hand and placed Stan's fingers in the correct position. Kenny held Stand right hand and made it strum. "See?"

"Sure." Stan focused on keeping his fingers pressed firmly on the fret board.

Kenny kept moving Stan's hands and making him play I'm yours. Girls would occasionally come over with a huge grin and give them money. Stan barely noticed them cause he was focused playing the ukulele.

"And you call us the fags." Craig said as he and Tweek passed the two.

"Gah! Don't say that… That's not Kyle!" Tweek said basically screaming the last part.

Stan noticed how Kenny was holding him and ducked under the ukulele and stepped away.

"Ha ha! Tweek's right. I'm not Kyle. You see?" Kenny's hood fell off when Stan ducked.

"What does Kyle have to do with this!" Stan said annoyed.

"Oh, nothing." Kenny said sarcastically.

"And what do you mean 'you see'?"

"You see? The ukulele has special powers. You wouldn't have done that if this was say a guitar. And I wouldn't have gotten so much money from those girls if we didn't do that. And plus with the ukulele, it added extra cuteness to us being together. And/ Oh fuck my ears!" Kenny quickly put his hood up.

"You used me to get money!"

"Well, it worked. And I don't feel bad if you were pretending I was Kyle that whole time." Kenny made a huge smile that Stan could barely see.

Stan was blushing furiously. "I can't believe I let you use me like that." Stan said as he walked away.

"You can't deny the power of the ukulele!" Kenny yelled at Stan as he walked away. Kenny continued playing his ukulele.

+t+

"You know Damien" Pip started as they were walking to Pip's house. "… I didn't want the do the challenge because I wanted to be with Tweek. It's just you know… the bloody tickets."

"I understand Pip. That's why I agreed too." Damien said as he put his arm around Pip's shoulders.

"We're doing it for McDreidal. We'll get through this." Pip said encouragingly. He looked at Damien with loving eyes.

Damien looked back with concerned eyes then looked straight forward. "Just promise you won't fall in love with Tweek." Damien almost sounded like he was begging Pip.

"How could I ever do that, love?" Pip smiled.

Damien went in for a kiss right in the park (The long way to Pip's house).

"I'm sorry love birds, but would you mind helping me?" the man said before the two boys lips could meet.

"Yes." Damien mumbled under his breath. Someone was getting burned later.

"What may we do for you lad?" Pip said.

"Weird Al?" Damien said confused.

"Yep that's me." Weird Al stated.

"What are you doing in South Park?"

"I'm looking for my cousin."

"And you need two little boys help to find your cousin?"

"Well I've never been here."

"You couldn't call him or ask adults."

"You know. I think I like you. You remind me of Spam. That's your new name; Spam." Weird Al said almost glaring at Damien. Damien was staring right back.

"Who is your cousin?" Pip cut in.

"Oh. His name is Big Gay Al. Do you know where he is?" Weird Al mentioned.

"Big… Gay… Al?" Pip asked.

"Oh that makes sense." Damien said with up most seriously.

"Here let's ask Kyle." Pip offered and he head towards Kyle's house.

+t+

"Kyle?" Sheila asked. "I think he went to Cartman's."

+t+

"What do you even want with McDreidal tickets fat-ass?" Kyle said angrily. He was trying to convince Cartman to give him a ticket.

"Go away Jew." Cartman remarked.

"What do you want Cartman?"

"Suck on my balls."

Kyle thought about this for a moment. "There has to be something not gay I could do."

"You would have done it if I were Stan."

"What?"

The door bell rang. Kyle went to go get it.

"Kyle?" Pip asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where Big Gay Al is?"

"Possibly. Why?"

Damien cut in with "He's Weird Al's cousin." Damien pointed to Weird Al.

"… Oh that makes sense." Kyle said with a serious tone. "I'll take you to him."

They all started walking off. Before they got too far Cartman shouted. "Let me record you sucking Stan's balls and you got tickets!"

"Fuck you Cartman!" Kyle yelled back. He tried to hide his blush from the other people. It didn't work to well.

+t+

"You know I love you Tweek?" Craig said as he packed.

"Gah! What! Yes!" Tweek said smiling.

"Oh thank you." Craig sighed not really sure why he wanted to hear that one last. Craig hugged Tweek.

"You got to… finish packing!" Tweek announced.

"We have plenty of time." Craig pecked Tweek's cheek.

"But, you should, Gah. Finish… I'll go make some coffee." Tweek kissed Craig's forehead. Tweek's eyes widened as if he had just turned on a time bomb.

Craig sighed smiling. "Tweek. Have I ever hit you when you tried to kiss me?"

"No!"

"Yet you assume I will every time."

"But what if you get mad!"

"Why would I get mad? I kiss you all the time."

"…Coffee!" Tweek hoped off the bed and went into the kitchen to start brewing.

_It's just two weeks without Tweek. _Craig thought as he continued packing. The more he thought about it, the harder it was not to cry. Craig was fighting it back. His face even turned all red.

Tweek walked in. "Oh Jesus! You're turning into an alien! You're all red! It must have been from the kiss. That's way too much pressure."

Craig laughed knowing it was going to be hard with Damien instead of Tweek.


	3. getting settled

Disclaimer: i don't own south park or any other copyrighted references.

"Um… could I wait… out here?" Kyle said confidently.

"What's wrong? It's just a gay bar." Damien asked.

"I… know. It's just… Can I wait out here?"

"That's cool little dude." Weird Al interrupted. "We three will go in. just wait out here. Come on Spam and boyfriend."

Kyle sighed with relief and said "Thanks Weird Al. Who's Spam?"

The three walked in. "it's not even clever" Damien mumbled under his breath. Kyle could hear it but he was still confused.

Kyle brushed the thought off. He thought about all spots Big Gay Al could be. The more he thought about, the more he realized how many gay joints there actually were in South Park. Kyle looked around the corner of the building to see two dudes making out. It was to be expected but it still fazed Kyle. He was always fine with gay people. But once they started making out, he couldn't take it. I mean he had kissed two boys on accident… on the same day. He hated that birthday.

"Dam you Kenny." Kyle could barely hear from Stan who was walking past. "Ukulele's aren't even that cool. What am I saying? They're awesome. I didn't even learn anything. Maybe he would actually give me lessons. Hey Kyle. Would he make me pay? …of course he would what am I asking?" Stan stopped walking and turned to face Kyle. "Hey. What you doing outside a gay bar?" Stan asked Kyle.

"Waiting for Damien, Tweek, and Weird Al." Kyle answered.

"Oh… Weird Al?

Before Kyle could answer, a car drove past them blasting out the lyrics "You! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar! Gay Bar!"

The two stood there in front of the gay bar. Neither of them said a word.

"I'm so very sorry Weird Al." Pip's voice said coming out of the gay bar. The group walked out with disappointed faces.

"Well that's ok. We can try somewhere else." Weird Al was truly disappointed.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid Damien and I have to go"

"Oh that's ok. This guy," "Weird Al put his arm around Kyle. "Can help me. Unless you havta go too."

"No" Kyle said.

"By… Kyle." Stan said and walked off with Damien and Pip. Weird Al and Kyle walked off to the next gay establishment.

-t-

"See you Pip." Damien said really sad like.

"I'll only be thinking of you" Pip said with a smile and kissed Damien on the head.

Pip walked down the street only showing his sadness when his back was facing Damien.

Damien shut the door once he could no longer see Pip. _If Pip can be confident, then so can I. _Damien thought.

-t-

"Gah! Be careful!" Tweek waved goodbye to Craig. "Irish underpants gnomes are worse than American ones!"

"Craig stopped walking. He turned around and said "Pip's British."

"What! He's British? Gah. Well… What! Bye!" Tweek had no idea how he planned that sentence to come out.

Craig Smiled, Turned around, and walked off to Damien again.

-t-

Craig saw Pip walk down the cross walk heading for Tweek's house. Craig thought about how he was gunna beat up Pip if he hurt Tweek in any way (that included calling him names). Then he thought about how Pip would try to make Tweek drink tea and they would start fighting over which one was better. Craig giggled at the thought. He made sure Pip couldn't tell what he was doing.

"Hey." Pip waved as he walked past.

"Have fun." Craig waved back, not looking at Pip.

"Ditto."

-t-

"Hi Tweek." Pip says happily.

"Gah! Hi Pip!" Tweek just stood there awkward not sure what to do.

"Uh… Can I come in?" Pip asked.

"Oh. Ya." Tweek moved from the middle of the door.

"I'll put your… stuff in my room!" Tweek took the bags and went up the stairs. About half way up, he fell and toppled all the way to the bottom of the staircase. Pip ran over but Tweek got up and went up the stairs as if nothing had happened. Pip decided to put the incident in the back of his mind.

Pip looked around the living room. It had a white carpet with only one coffee stain. Pip was amazed by this. It was Tweek after all. When Tweek came back, Pip took that moment from the back of his head and asked. "Are you ok Tweek. That was quite a fall."

"Oh Gah! I'm….. ok." Tweek answered.

"Do you by chance need some coffee?"

"No. If I have some now, I won't be able to sleep." Tweek stared at Pip not saying anything.

"…Is something the matter?"

"No."

"Um…"

"Oh! I mean yes! What time do you go to bed? Gah. I'm sorry! I'm just really tired."

"Oh. Ok… I understand. I can go to bed anytime." Pip moved from Tweek's line of view.

The door bell ringed. Pip sighed that there was someone else here.

Pip went to open the door. He said "Oh hi Clyde."

"Hi Pip. Just making sure your hear and Craig isn/ is Tweek bleeding?" Craig said.

"I'm Ok!" Tweek yelled.

"Where's your band aids? We should clean that cut up."

"Wow Clyde." Pip started. "How… girly." Pip said bluntly. Pip was too tired to hold his tough.

Clyde just stood there frozen.

Pip started to freak out that he had something upsetting. "It's just… Clyde..."

Clyde stood there in silence. Eventually he moved to the front door and said "Everything looks in order here." And he left.

"What time is it?" Tweek said lifelessly.

Pip looked at his watch and replied "about 9:40. Why?"

Tweek collapsed onto the floor.

"Oh dear lord Tweek!" Pip yelled and he ran over to Tweek. He found Tweek just sleeping. Pip looked around to see no one to help him. He decided to drag him to his bed. Pip lifted the sleeping boy onto his back to see that he was actually quite light.

Once Pip got him up to his room, which was quite messy, he saw Tweeks PJs on the floor. Pip looked at them and decided that it was best just to put him under the covers.

Pip went down stairs to the couch and also went to bed without changing. It had been a long day and he just wanted to be by Damien, not on this couch alone.

-t-

Token and Cartman walked up to Pip's door. Token knocked and Cartman opened the door on his own.

"Hm. They forgot to lock the door." Token mentioned as they walked in.

Damien yelled at Craig "Know what! When you die and go to hell, I give you an amazing cup of tea that will make you admit tea is better and then give you the blandest tea we have for the rest of your insignificant after life!"

"That's right." Craig replied. "I guess coffee is just too good to serve in hell isn't it?" Damien had fire in his eyes.

Cartman interrupted with "Cut off fags. We're here to check on things."

"What a cute couples quarrel." Token added.

"Well I guess the other two are gone. I guess you're in the clear. But shouldn't you two make up with a kiss?" Cartman said.

The two boys gave Cartman death glares.

"I just thought that's what a real couple would do. If you don't want the tickets, I can tell Tweek and Pip. After they tried so hard to get along."

Craig gave Damien a peck on his left cheek. "That's all you're getting Cartman."

"I guess that's enough… for now." And with that, Cartman and Token left.

After that, Damien said "well good night. I'll take the couch."

"No I'll take the couch." Craig replied and sat down on the couch.

"No you're the guest. Just go to the bed."

"No. I'm sleeping on the couch!"

"Well so am I!"

The stubborn boys ended up both laying the same way on the couch (which was smaller than the bed.)

"…Good night!" Damien yelled angrily.

"Ditto!" Craig replied equally angry.


	4. walken to school

Disclaimer: i don't own south park or any other copyrighted references.

_Pip's POV:_

Know what? I have amazing power at this school. And I never even new. As I watched the two thugs eyes widen and run away from me, I think I almost smirked.

Going back to the present, I run up to Tweek. "Are you alright?"

"Ya… I'm used to it." Tweek answered.

What! What does Craig do to this poor boy!

"Don't… Don't tell Craig."

Oh. I guess that thought was wrong.

Tweek starts picking up snow and washing off the blood with it. I don't know if this was the most rational thing he could have done… well it is Tweek.

"Ah… Tweek, couldn't you go into the bath room and wash up?"

"Craig might see."

… What?

I guess most of the blood was washed off. It just looked like he fell now. And the snow looks like there was a bloody murder scene there. "Why don't you want Craig to know?"

"I don't want him to think this is his fault. Gah."

"Why didn't they beat me up when I came over?"

"Oh because your boyfriend is Damien."

Oh… What?

-t-

_Damien's POV:_

"You really won't let me listen to your music?" I ask. I'm walking to school with Craig. I ask him if I can listen to his ipod with him and he starts freaking out! Suddenly it's like I'm evil.

"…Ok." he's hesitant. Sorry I just wanna share your music and not kill your family in the night. "But I get to choose the songs ok?"

He was freaking out because he can't choose the songs? There hasta be something on there he doesn't want me seeing. And I'm defiantly figuring it out. "Of Corse."

He looks for a while until he finds some 80's rock music. I'll learn your secret Craig.

Dang it Pip. Why is he and Tweek walking out from the side of the school? Did Tweek fall? Crap I can't really go there and talk to them can I? Fine. Just act like I never saw them.

"You know it's ok if you have gay music on there. I mean we are a couple now." Did I guess right?

Craig looked up at me and glared. Man I love being taller. Craig went back to his iPod and said. "I can see if I have any. Other than Gay Bar by Electric 6 I'm kinda low on that." Well I guess that theory is out. He would have gotten more defensive.

Maybe he has a bunch of British bands like Pip. I wonder if Pip brought his music to Tweeks. I wonder how he's holding up. I hope he got a good night's rest. Oh wait. Don't think about him Damien! It'll just get you more depressed. Think about… about… death… no\

"Sup Fags? Have a good make out session when we left last night?" Cartman put his arm around my shoulder as he said this. I couldn't help but scowl. Token had his arm around Craig.

"Shove off fat ass." Craig said. Once the song playing in the head phone finished, Craig pulled it out of my ear before I could tell what song was on next. I looked over and saw Craig quickly pull it into his palm.

"What's this?" Token said with a surprised smile looking at Craig. "Being secretive are we. Why the sudden Greed? What's playing?" Token asked in a sly and confident way.

Craig put away his music. "Nothing Token." Wow Craig. That doesn't fell like your hiding something at all.

"Hmm…" was what I heard from Token. He wanted the same knowledge I did.

-t-

_Pip's Pov:_

Ok let me put this in order;

-Tweek gets beat up because he's gay. I'm guessing every or every other day.

-He doesn't tell Craig about it because Tweek thinks Craig would feel guilty. Couldn't Craig just beat them up? Maybe… Tweek doesn't want the bullies to get hurt? No. no person is that nice, especially not an American.

- I don't get beat up because my boyfriend (normally) is Damien. I guess that does make sense. I've gotten him to not hurt people when they don't _hurt_ other people. But when I get hurt, he could conjure up the flames from hell.

I hope people don't start playing mind games with Damien. When girls talk to us, he normally gets confused and looks stupid until I come in and save him. I guess he's not the smartest and gets embarrassed easily (but tries not to show it in public). That's the man I love. I miss… wait. Don't think about him Pip! Think of… of… death. Wait what?

"Yo. How's the couple?" Clyde ran up to us. Tweek was now in the middle of us two. Clyde's only looking at Tweek. Almost like… he's porously trying not to look at me.

"Hey Clyde, about that comment about you acting like a girl yesterday, it didn't mean anything." I hope I'm right on this.

Clyde tensed up. So I think I hit the pressure point.

"Um! Gah! Um!..." Tweek? What are you doing? "Clyde! ... what do we havta do today?" Man I wish Tweek was shorter than me. I mean it's fine with Damien being taller but Tweek? I don't know. British logic I guess.

Clyde softened his stance and said "You guys sit at your normal table. Cartman and Token are telling the other two to do that too. We'll give you your info there."

"Will do Clyde." I say with a smile. I havta make him like me. I can't have this being awkward stuff this whole game.

Clyde smiled and patted the both of use on the shoulder, still avoiding eye contact with me, and walked ahead into the hall.

"Tweek how strong are you?" I ask.

"Gah! What!" Tweek always freaks out when spoken to directly?

"How strong are you?"

"Um… not that…strong?" Ok. That helped me out a lot.

"Do you play any sports?"

"No."

"Not even at home? You run or play catch with Craig?" what am I asking? Boyfriends don't play/

"Oh ya! Me and Craig play catch sometimes! And I'll, Ah! Run to different rooms of my house to get stuff." I guess Tweek will give me details if Craig is involved. Useful info.

"So are you top or bottom?"

"What!" dang it, Too straight forward.

"Uh. Never mind."

-t-

_Narrator's POV:_

Stan rang Kenny's door bell, hoping to get ukulele lessons. But when Kenny opened to door, he was less than excited to see Stan.

"Stan! You havta leave now!" Kenny shouted.

"What? Why I was just gunna ask/" Stan was interrupted.

"I don't want you of Kyle to get into this! I'm sorry! I guess you might learn. But later. I just need to forget about me for the next…" Kenny stopped and listened to the other side of the phone. He yelled at the guy "I told you! I don't care if I die! Just don't use my friends as hostages!... I'll, I'll go get it now." Kenny walked out his house looking almost like he was about to cry.

"Kenny… What's Wrong?" Stan was so confused.

"Stan just… Be careful ok?"

"…Ok."

Stan was concerned for Kenny but as he was walking home, he wondered if he knew someone else who knew how to play the ukulele.


End file.
